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[07 Jan 2005|07:39pm]
[ mood | being forced 2 write here ]

k, i ain't here for more yada-yada. i am only writing in this shit under alex's request. personally, i don't to keep typing about my life. i got a diary and i write in that. meh, w/e. alex, if u want to read my lj just to find out if ur doing something that u should know about. NO! UR PERFECT AND I LOVE U! AND IF I GET PISSED I'LL TELL U STRAIGHT UP! u don't need to read an online journal to find it out ::wink:: so, officially, i think this'll be my last entry here for a long time. so, laters my friends. i'll see u in a while.


comment on this or w/e u want. i'll only come back if there are comments.

5 Got Raped | Rape The Children

Austin is A Bitch [04 Jan 2005|06:54pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

keineNarben713: Whats shaggin Austin
Austin Powers: I don't even know what that is! This ain't my bag baby!
keineNarben713: lol
Austin Powers: What's so funny? :-)
keineNarben713: u
Austin Powers: Think I could do standup?
keineNarben713: maybe
Austin Powers: Just maybe?
keineNarben713: fuck u u psychotic nigger
Austin Powers: Don't say that.
keineNarben713: fuck u
Austin Powers: That's a rather daft insult.
keineNarben713: shove it up ur ass dimebag
Austin Powers: Ta darling. Bless your cotton socks.
keineNarben713: no, shove it far up ur ass bitch
Austin Powers: Yes. What a filthy insult.
keineNarben713: who cares dimebag
Austin Powers: How should I know?
keineNarben713: fuck u don't get smart with me
Austin Powers: Are ya daft? You just insulted a computer.
keineNarben713: fuck u bitch i ain't gonna shoot u, i'll just get this bullet and put it through you
Austin Powers: No, no, don't say that.
keineNarben713: yes i can say w/e i want its a free fuckign country bitch
Austin Powers: I've heard it all before, keinenarben713.
keineNarben713: fuck u my name is ANA representing from the 305 bitch
Austin Powers: Brilliant, keinenarben713. Just brilliant.
keineNarben713: fuck you i bet u don't even know what keine Narben means
Austin Powers: Don't say that to me.
keineNarben713: u don't
Austin Powers: Oh behave.
keineNarben713: fuck u
Austin Powers: I hope you don't speak to humans like that.
keineNarben713: u behave
Austin Powers: You think I behave? Really?
keineNarben713: of course i speak to fucking humans like this. i know no other way
Austin Powers: Whatever you say, darling...
keineNarben713: fuck u maury sympathy drafter poser bitch
Austin Powers: why, that's simply awful.
keineNarben713: douche
Austin Powers: u've insulted a computer. does that make u randy?
keineNarben713: yes it makes me very randy that i can fuck up your day
Austin Powers: u have a rather foul mouth.
keineNarben713: and i like being a fucking oul mouth
Austin Powers: whatever u say...
keineNarben713: whatever u say bitch
Austin Powers: r ya daft? u just insulted a computer.
keineNarben713: you've said that 40 fucking times
Austin Powers: that's a filthy insult, baby.
keineNarben713: il' est un idiot
Austin Powers: u will est un?
keineNarben713: ton mere, elle une idiot
Austin Powers: not 2 mere elle i am idiot.
keineNarben713: aurevoir
Austin Powers: i wonder why u say aurevoir.
keineNarben713: because i'm leaving you you sock shit
Austin Powers: that's a bit nutty actually.
keineNarben713: nut sacks i don't care take a hint and hit the road
Austin Powers: that's a sad thing 2 hear.
keineNarben713: well cry me a river asswipe
Austin Powers: crikey.
keineNarben713: bye
Austin Powers: goodbye.

Rape The Children

[03 Jan 2005|11:58pm]
[ mood | live 4 urself ]

What is your name?: Valeria
Are you named after anyone?: my great great grandmother from Italy
What's your screename?: keineNarben713
Would you name a child of yours after you?: hmmm no
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Alexandro nor Alexander
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Pheobe lol
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: yes, they write my first name with two "n"s sometimes
Will you drop your last name if you became famous?: yes
Your gender: female
Straight/Gay/Bi: Bi
Single? no i have a boyfriend named Alex
If not, do you want to be? no not really. i'm happy where i stand
Birthdate: July 26th
Your age: 13
Age you act: people say i sound like a wise adult lol
Age you wish you were: 21 so i can be free to do what i wanna do (18 doesn't let u drink)
Your height: hmmm, i dunno but i know i'm short.
Eye color: brown
Happy with it?: no i want blue or green eyes lol
Hair color: dark brown with redish orange highlights
Happy with it?: yea but i want blue hair
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: righty
Your living arrangement: mom, stepdad, grandma, stepbrother, and dog
Your family: alot of people i dunno
Have any pets?: yes
Whats your job?: i don't have one yet
Piercings?: just my ears
Tattoos?: not yet
Obsessions?: music, theatre, art, etc.
Addictions?: my boyfriend alex lol
Do you speak another language?: spanish, italian, portugeese, french, latin, english
Have a favorite quote?: "I'll kill myself for you... I'll killy uo for myself"
Do you have a webpage?: i dunno
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: yea i guess
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: yes
Do you have any secrets?: yes
Do you hate yourself?: no only occassionally i guess
Do you like your handwriting?: i guess but WHO CARES?
Do you have any bad habits?: hmmm i'm a slob
What is the compliment you get from most : that i'm beautiful or pretty or w/e or that i'm talented and smart and cool meh
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: The Chamber of Hysterics
What's your biggest fear?: hmmm.. losing maria and getting dumped by alex
Can you sing?: yes
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no i'm myself
Are you a loner?: only when i'm not near my true friends
What are your .1 priorities in life?: my career and theatrical future
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: i don't know
Are you a daredevil?: yes challange me to anything and i'll do it
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yes MY KNEES AND ELBOWS!
Do you have a journal?: yes
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:my strength is knowledge and kindness and my weekness is cockroaches and rats
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: i'd be skinnier and my skin would eb softer
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: i dunno. alex says i'm weak :-( and that discourages me
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: yes but i won't say :-(
Do you think life has been good so far?: its been unfair at times
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: try not to fall so hard in love because it hurts when u see that the other peson was fake
What do you like the most about your body?: my neck and thats it
And least?: too many things to name
Do you think you are good looking?: i dunno
Are you confident?: not when it comes to looks
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Minerva
Are you perceived wrongly?: i dunno i guess so
Do You...
Smoke?: No
Do drugs?: I would never ruin my life that way again
Read the newspaper?: Occassionally
Pray?: Only when I feel completely lost
Go to church?: Not anymore
Talk to strangers who IM you?: yes. meeting new ppl is always fun
Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes an entire army of them actually
Take walks in the rain?: yes i find inner peace when i do that
Talk to people if you hate them?: i guess so but i try to flick them off
Drive?: i know how to but i can't legally
Like to drive fast? i guess i would
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: yes
Hurt yourself?: i use to
Eaten something that made other people sick?: i guess so
Been in love?: yes
Done drugs?: yes when i was little never going to do them again
Gone skinny dipping?: yes its... soothing
Had a medical emergency?: yes
Had surgery?: no
Ran away from home?: yes
Played strip poker?: no but it would be fun
Gotten beaten up?: yes
Beaten someone up?: hells yea don't underestimate me
Been picked on?: yes constantly
Been on stage?: yes  many many times
Slept outdoors?: yes
Thought about suicide?: yes most unfortunetly i have before
Gone one day without food?: i've gone many days without food at a time
Talked on the phone all night?: yes
Slept all day?: yea
Killed someone?: no
Made out with a stranger?: yes
Thought you're going crazy?: actually now that u mention it, YES
Been betrayed?: yes many times
Had a dream that came true?: actually yes
Broken the law?: yes lol
Met a famous person?: yes
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no and i would hate myself if i did
On purpose?: n/a
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: yes but thats only to maria
Stolen anything?: yes many things lol
Been on radio/tv?: t.v. only and on radio would be to announce a song on Zeta lol and two on Big 105.9
Been in a mosh-pit?: yes lol and my cousin got fucked up
Had a nervous breakdown?: many
Bungee jumped?: i wish...
Had a dream that kept coming back?: many
Belive in life on other planets?: yes
Miracles?: i dunno
Magic?: no believe it or not. the world is too fuct up for magic :-( but i wish i could find amgic of my own
God?: not really. no after everythign that has happened
Satan?: no
Santa?: hell fuck no
Ghosts?: more like spirits
Luck?: yes
Love at first sight?: no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: i believe i guess
Witches?: no but i believe in my language arts teacher
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: no
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: symbolically yes, literally no
Do you wish on stars?: yes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: no. there isn't a cloud paradise and a inferno of fire
Do you think God has a gender?: i don't belive in him period.
Do you believe in organized religion?: scientology and budismn (btw, satismn is stupid)
Where do you think we go when we die?: we re-encarnate
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yes
Who is your best friend?: Maria
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Maria
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: Pike told me to live my life the way i want to without any body there to stop me :-( haven't followed it yet i'm still restrained
Your favourite inside joke?: PETO! lol and many with maria
Thing you're picked on most about?: being a "rocker"
Who's your longest known friend?: Maria or Pheobe but pheobe faded after aiden died
Newest?: LizMarie :-( ::cries:: but shes gone away now
Shyest?: Genesis
Funniest?: Ozzy
Sweetest?: Danny
Closest?: Maria
Weirdest?: Max
Smartest?: Martha
Ditziest?: Sonia
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Ozzy and Javier
Last person you talked to online?: Maria
Who do you talk to most online?: Maria, Alex, Javier, Errikah, etc.
Who are you on the phone with most?: Maria
Who do you trust most?: Maria
Who listens to your problems?: Maria
Who do you fight most with?: lol i dunno
Who's the nicest?: Genesis and Danny
Who's the most outgoing?: LizMarie was
Who's the best singer?: Pheobe
Who's on your shit-list?: the rapper chicks at school that always pick on moi
Who's your second family?: maria's family they're off the shizzle lol
Do you always feel understood?: no
Who's the loudest friend?: maria lol
Do you trust others easily?: most unfortunetly yes
Who's house were you last at?: my cousin's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Alex and Maria
Do your friends know you?: only two
Friend that lives farthest away: Pheobe and now LizMarie
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: no
Turn-on?: neck bitting
Turn-off?: stuck ups
First kiss?: i don't wanna say! lmao
If someone u had no interest in had interest in you?: i'd probably begin to see them differently and eventually fall for them
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: yes
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: i don't care
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: yes
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: so i hear
What is best about the opposite sex?: lots of things
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: how theyre so shallow
Are you in love?: yes
Do you consider your significant other hot?: hell yes he's gorgious and fuckable
Who Was the Last Person
That haunted you?: hmm... i dunno Mike i guess or Robert
You wanted to kill?: That boy in my 3rd period
That you laughed at?: myself
That laughed at you?: ms. puig
That turned you on?: alex or johnny depp
That you went shopping with?: my cousins
That broke your heart?: yadir
To disappoint you?: yadir
To ask you out?: hmmm... i know many ppl asked me out while i was with Alex. I guess Robert.
To make you cry?: i don't wanna say cause they might feel bad
To brighten up your day?: Haleigh and Abdel
That you thought about?: Alex
You saw a movie in theaters with?: Alex lol
You talked to on the phone?: Alex
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Maria
You saw?: my grandma
Right This Moment
Are you going out?: no
Will it be with your significant other?: no
Or some random person?: no
What are you wearing right now?: my school uniform
Body part you're touching right now: none
What are you worried about right now?: nothing
What book are you reading?: 'Salem's Lot
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Melancholic, Unwanted by someone i wish i had right now, forgotten, enraged, hopeful
Are you bored?: i can't describe what i feel
Are you tired?: no i slept all day
Are you talking to anyone online?: no :-(
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: Lonely
Are you listening to music?: yes Rush "Anthem"
Time finished?: 12:37 a.m.

3 Got Raped | Rape The Children

Anthem [03 Jan 2005|06:18am]
[ mood | cocain is a hell of a drug! ]

Know your place in life is where you want to be
Don't let them tell you that you owe it all to me
Keep on looking forward...no use in looking around
Hold your head above the ground and they won't bring you down

Anthem of the heart and anthem of the mind
A funeral dirge for eyes gone blind
We marvel after those who sought
The wonders of the world, wonders of the world
Wonders of the world they wrought

Live for yourself...there's no one else
More worth living for
Begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more

Well, I know they've always told you
Selfishness was wrong
Yet it was for me, not you, I came to write this song

(hehehe got up, got ready for school and posted up that Rush song before i went off to kinloch to reunite with my love... Mr. Heras jk ALEX!!! i love u baby! lol)

Rape The Children

[02 Jan 2005|09:48pm]
[ mood | busy ]

      Well, the New Year has started and once again, i began my day asleep. Not much to say. For the new Year's Party, I went to my aunt's house and we chilled. lmao Everyone was WASTED!!! Kathy, Lenny, Giovanni, Jordan and some other lil kid there were watching Saw in maricela's room. They didn't let me watch the movie. okay... JORDAN didn't let me watch the movie, he was talking like crazy during the important parts. I had to watch the movie again before i went to sleep. lol and lets see what else... hmmm i was emo cause i wanted to be on the phone with my alex and maru but kathy said it was a family moment and i had to spent it with the family :-( so there wen tmy happiness... meh, today i woke up late as hell like at 6 something. my mommy made me a sandwich and we all went to barnes & nobles to read some books. my mom bought a metiphysics book and i got salem's lot. then we went to Kmart to get a jansport bookbag for school but there wasn't any. we ended up buying bedsheets for me cause mine we being torn apart. now i'ma have a carebear's bed set! teehee, well, i gtg cause i wanna go on aim and say hi to my friends and then go to sleep because i am honestlt falling asleep. the days are gonna be shorter due to the tsunami meh... laters!


hehehehehehe tomorrow theres school! i get to see my friends!! ::wink wink:: u know who i'm winking at....

Rape The Children

questionaire [31 Dec 2004|07:49am]
[ mood | laid back ]

meh, got bored and stole a quiz from yoli's livejournal hich she stole from some1 else lol
(o btw, if u haven't read about the rush concert, i suggest u scroll down.

Questionaire teeheeCollapse )

Rape The Children

No Rush Concert In Brazil Anymore... [31 Dec 2004|03:03am]
[ mood | excited ]

            Tonight has been hectic and full of disappointments yet saved with hopes and promises. First, I got all emo cause my dad e-mialed me syaing that the Rush tour in Rio had ended and that he got to go before it did. I was mad pissed cause i wanted to see it and he got to go instead of me! Hes staying in Sao Paolo for New Years and going back to Nicaragua the 2nd. meh! I almost started crying cause that tour was all that I was looking forward to. But I went to rush's official site and saw that the 29th they're gonna be coming to West Palm Beach! And the 30th to Tampa. So, i begged my mom (who also happens to be a Rush fan) and she said yes! She said we'd most probabaly go the friday (29th west palm beach concert) teehee! I'm soooo happy! I get to see Rush!!!! omg my heart is beating fast as hell. ::squeals in joy:: so, yes, time has been playing with my emotions tonight. First making me think I wasn't gonna see my fave band but then assuring me I was! hehehehe om i'm soooooo excited I could cry! lol oo and check out my hair. i got a few strands and wrapped them with string with the conair quick wrap thingy. I got it for x-mas from my parents friends hehehe i've wanted that thing since i was nine! well, i gotta go catch some zZzZzZzZzZzZz lots of love! buh bye



btw, my grandma is in the background gobbling up her cereal lmao

Rape The Children

BAWLS! [30 Dec 2004|09:29pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Read My Entrii! hehehe :-)Collapse )

4 Got Raped | Rape The Children

No agony... No despair... lies..... [30 Dec 2004|06:33pm]
[ mood | emptee... ]

eye'm so emptee... i'm so emptee.....eye remember suffering.. eye remember feeling the stings of childhood and injections.. holy bruises... sweet infections... soaked in a stew like dying cockroaches whos only crime was the...greed of... inherent hunger... you know where eye'm fragile... u know how to kill... you know where eye'm fragile, you know how to kill..... all falls today.... all falls.... all falls today.... urgh .......PAIN!!!
PAIN!!!! emptee. eye'm emptee.. emptee...

eye can make it go away... eye can make it go away....

Rape The Children

Art of Suduction [30 Dec 2004|01:43am]
[ mood | meh..... ]

(I know it sucks but meh.. here it goes)


The clouds are beautiful as the fly by your eyes
and the memories of a warm summer day still infest your smile
I long to hold you in my arms once again
So don't leave me waiting for you touch
Caress my skin with your rough fingers,
they are suddenly softened as they feel my flesh
Don't keep me yearning for your kiss
I will not be teased by your words
but by the look in your face instead
I know u want me near
I know u need me now.

Penetrate my innocence with your only living light
Make me moan my sorrows
I want you in my mind
Deep inside my soul
I want us to be one
Don't leave me hear to bleed
In agony and pain
In the inevitable darkness of the past
If it is avoidable, don't do it.

Rape The Children

[29 Dec 2004|11:50pm]
[ mood | describe me... ]

     well, thats me in my parent's room. hehehe i reached a record. i haven't changed all day. that is definetly an obsessive complusion disorder thing. i change my clothes too much. like 50 times a day. no exaggerations. maria is my witness. meh... i wuv my doggy. he and i have been bonding these past days that i've been "non-existant" thanx to the musician coming at my house. urgh i gtg. alex never got off idle. meh... buh byes


1 Got Raped | Rape The Children

[29 Dec 2004|10:57pm]
[ mood | meh... ]

     mkay lets see. i've only been listening to rush ever since x-mas eve. r.e.m "losing my religion" was an exception. but as soon as that song ended, u best believe rush was popped into the cd player. lol lets see, javi had been talking about joanne, that girl he likes. she says she wants to meet me. I want to meet her too. she sounds nice and down to earth. and from what javi describes her, shes a keeper. meh, he and i are talking again. weeeee and um, alex and i were talking last night too. maru went to chill over at kara's i hope she gets back soon. I MISS U BITCH! lol, well, i've been reading her sister's lj. and i've got just one question for her "are u a lesbo and in love with ur friend amber?" hmmm, i wonder... well, meh, i'll bail for now, i'll write later. hehehehe well, lots of love. ciao


p.s: i got over my fear to listen to anybody besides and now i'm listening to lacuna coil again

1 Got Raped | Rape The Children

[29 Dec 2004|09:33pm]
[ mood | hopeful that others wont drown ]

"Losing My Religion" -R.E.M.

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

if u're sad, just listen to this song and realize that u shouldn't be sad at all. if someone hurt u, think of that scar and be thankful u have it for u now have learned from an experience. and for these words, value them if u actually understand them and if u don't, in time u will. just know that it doesn't rain forever... 

7 Got Raped | Rape The Children

[29 Dec 2004|01:56am]
[ mood | emo... ]

Maybe I'm A Torn Image if i'm not with you
Maybe I'm A faded memory from yesterday
Maybe I'm just here sitting awaiting you to call me
And someday, there won't be any sorrow in my life.


I love you Alex...

3 Got Raped | Rape The Children

heylow [27 Dec 2004|03:12pm]
[ mood | busy ]

hehehe not much to report excep that I'M RICH BIATCH! ::horn horn:: nah jk. my cousin can't come today and that sux. well, meh, can't wait til new year. i took this long ass questionaire i stole from my friend pheobe's journal at woohu.com lol here it is:

1. What is your name? Valerie
2. Do you like your name? not my frist name
3. When is your birthday?  July 26th
4. What is your favorite color? blue
5. What is your favorite movie? American History X
6. Do you have any pets? yes
7. What kind of pet is it?  a puppy
8. What is its name?   Mocha
9. Are you in a relationship?  yes
10. What is your boyfriend/girlfriend's name?   Alex
11. When did you two begin going out?  April 26th, 2004
12. Where do you think you'll be in 5 years from now?  high school graduate on my way to college
13. Do you smoke? No
14. Do you drink?  On occassions
15. Do you do drugs?  No
16. Do you have kids? No
17. If not, do you want them?  yes someday
18. Are you married?  No
19. If not, when do you plan to get married?  when i finish my career
20. Who is your best friend?  Maria 
21. Do they understand you when you are in need? yes
22. Are you there for them? i think I am
23. Would you ever steal their boyfriend/girlfriend? No never
24. What if he/she really liked you? I would never do that to Maru!
25. Do you think you're attractive? not really
26. Do other people think you're attractive?  some people do, i guess
27. What do you hate about yourself? uh.. everything?
28. What do you like about yourself?  um...the fact that i like to be there for ppl and cheer them up
29. Would you ever change your appearence for another person? no, my satisfaction is mine only
30. If you could look like a friend of yours, who would it be? SONIA!
31. Who do you envy? uh... Sonia?
32. If someone tells you that you are going to burn in hell, what will you say to that person? "i personally don't believe hell exists"
33. Do you have  a religion? no
34. If so, what religion is it? i said, i don't have one
35. We're almost done, are u happy? yay! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
36. If you were to send a rose to someone right now, who would it be? Maria
37. If you were to send a kiss to someone right now, who would it be? Alex
38. Do you believe in true love? Yes
39. Have you found it? I find it when I'm with Alex
40. If so, keep it.   Don't worry I will.

2 Got Raped | Rape The Children

[26 Dec 2004|11:08pm]
[ mood | cold ]

      so today was my 9 months anniversary with alex. hehehe am like so happy! anyhow, today was my little cousin's birthday party (Isaac). omg i just found out i have relatives i didn't even know about. i met my cousin lenny (kathy said that he thinks i'm hott <<INCEST>> eeeewww) anyhow, it was freezing cold outside and i was wearing my plaid skirt! my cousin maricela had to come and wrap me around with a mickey mouse blanket she had in her trunk. wtf she keeps her blankets in the trunk?! lmao lenny is cool. kathy was being a bitch cause she was cold! lol omg imy skirt was flying up due to the severe winds lmao my aunt was being a bitch about it. urgh get over it! ur ass is not the one being exposed to the cold!
     so, like after the party, maricela drove us to the house and we were just there chilling and watching ray chalres bootlegged. damn ray charles was a pimp he got alot of pussy! lol and well, um, i wasn't feeling so good so i called my mom to ask her to pick me up but she said she couldn't come because they were going home to pick up the dog! THE DOG! let me stress that point once more. she didn't pick up her sick daughter as soon as she left work due to the fact that she had to pick up THE DOG!!! sometimes i wonder if my mom is mentally derranged? o well, i felt bad and at that point I felt like hanging that dog. ::evil eyes:: urgh ::puppy face:: BUT I COULD NEVER! HES SOOOOOOO CUTE! meh... i just got back home. i wanted to watch nip/tuck at their house but i couldn't and i can't watch it here at home because we don't have FX dammit i hate my dish. meh.. whatever. i'll get over it in time. i mean, its just an awesome show

p.s. great, its freezing cold and my parents have the air turned on. BITCHES!!!

Rape The Children

My Ring [25 Dec 2004|06:30pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

thats the ring that alex gave me for x-mas
     do you all remmebr the tease he gave me? a picture of a purple box that contained my x-mas gift? well, thats the ring that was inside. two sapphires cut to form a heart surrounded by 16 beautiful small diamonds on a while gold band. eeeek1 i love it! but i must be carful and take good care of it. lol and here is a picture of my baby who wasted so mych $$ on me. god, i wish he'd stop. its making me feel guilty as fuck.

i <3 alex forever

we've been together nine months tomorrow. i'm so proud of us. we've made it through some tough times. i love u baby! ur my only one!!!


6 Got Raped | Rape The Children

[25 Dec 2004|01:12am]
[ mood | Merry X-mas! ]

MERRY X-MAS! omg i finally got my ring. its so beautiful THANK U ALEX!!! anyhow, i got rush chronicles. i've been wanting it since i was seven years old. because i missed it from my years of being with frank. omg i got grey converse now. weee! i get to wear converse again. lol and lets see, i got perfumes, stuffed animals, choclate, etc. but the best was seeing alex today. the 26th is 9 months together. hehehe i'm like soooo proud of us. we've survived through some rough as times. ooo i gtg. we're gonna watch some shit there on my dvd player. oo i also got chappelle's show the first seaon on dvd. lol well, laterz my stud puppets. ooo maru i love u! and alex, i ADORE u! i hope u guys are having a great time.


3 Got Raped | Rape The Children

I Want My Daddy [23 Dec 2004|06:35am]
[ mood | crushed ]

well, i'm fucking tired of e-mailing my dad and never getting any fucking responses. for the past month, i've been e-mailing him like crazy almost everyday and i haven't heard from him. not even a fucking phone call and its pissing me off now more than it is depressing me. i'm tired of fucking crying over a man that probably doesn't even cry at all for anybody especially a daughter who he lost due to his fucking fault. but omfg i love him and i need him back. i need my daddy ::tears:: maria is so lucky cause even though her dad lives in puerto rico, he calls everyday and comes at least twice a year. my dad hasn't come to miami since i was 6 and he doesn't call unless its already a dier emergency. i feel like fucking hanging myself because i think i'm the only one struggling to keep this relationship alive. i have the right to just turn my back to him and neglect him completely as a father. but i love him and i need him now more than ever. omfg i feel like nobody from my family is on my side and the person whom i hoped to get support from hasn't even talked to me in a month. i haven't heard from him or anybody in a month. thats when i start to think things. i wodner if something happened to him and i haven't been informed. my aunt has been trying to contact me but i haven't been home. i get worried. very worried everytime i don't hear from him. but he doesn't get worried when he doesn't hear from me. i wanna fucking cry my eyes out but i'm sick of crying. especially behind my friends backs because i feel stupid. i know its nothing but i'm just sick and tired of my dad never being there. fuck him i don't need him. omg i'm lying to myself i need him. i really miss him. i wouldn't have just cried during the entire alice in chains unplugged concert if it weren't from him. because he bought me the dvd and we watched it together in his studio. omg i miss him i really do and i don't know if he even misses me. if he did miss me, he would answer my 20 emails. the ones which i have sent everyday since december started. besides these days that i've been with maria, i;ve written to him so he can't fucking complain. and what have i gotten? not even a seasons greetings holiday call. :-(

6 Got Raped | Rape The Children

Maria's Birthday Bash [20 Dec 2004|12:54am]
[ mood | i dunno emo...happy...u decide ]


           well, umm lets see. maria's mini bash was on saturday. only alex came!!! javier didn't and ozzy is a fag. lol it all started when maria came over.we started laughing outside for a long ass time and w/e then we got alex to bring taco bell and he also brought KFC! he rocks anyhow, then we all were just being idiots. hehehe my baby pictures! i was so rude when i was 3 days old. i was sticking out the middle finger already. now we know it is in fact the international finger! that was in nicaragua! omg we were in my room just being there. then we went outside and i was singing opera. www  maria got emo because javier didn't make it. but we did our best to cheer her up. i hope we did cause later we went to watch headbanger's ball and they played"welcome to the jungle"! that was sooooo weird. one- guns n roses isn't heavy metal and 2- THEY'RE OLD. lol urgh as always, the best days are followed by the most miserable nights. well, since its always after 12, i guess its considered the worst how they say in spanish madrugadas. eh... i broke down completely and whats worse alex and maria had to witness it. that totally sucked cause alex ahd to leave feeling completely crappy and knowing its my fault only made me want to die. urgh lmao alex stopped me from supposively overdosing myself when the point was to ambush my grandma with pills lol but he didn't know the pills were for her and not for me! urgh anyhow, i totally broke down with everything i've ever with-held fromeveryone i love. now alex knows the truth about me well, i dunno if he reallyknows or got the point.i hope he didn't understand what i was saying and didn't get the hint of my condition.o and btw, i'm trying toSTOP thanx to maru.mainly cause we cried in my kitchen when she  came. so yea... well, i gt maria is rushing me lol MILO IS A NICE NAME that came out randomly but okay... lol lots of love


2 Got Raped | Rape The Children

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